Are You Complaining Without Realizing It?

Here's How to Break the Cycle

Have you ever caught yourself answering the simple question, "How are you?" with a sigh and something like, “I’m managing”? Or, worse yet, “I’m just getting by”? If you’ve been there, you’re not alone. I’ve lived and breathed these answers. Walking around with my backpack on and my notebook in hand, telling people I haven’t even had time to put my stuff down…

Complaining doesn’t always sound like full-on venting. It can sneak up on you in more subtle ways. What can it look like?

❌ “I’m so overwhelmed.” — A common phrase, but a red flag.
❌ The big sigh. — It’s like a preemptive warning that everything feels too much.
❌ “I’m getting by.” — A response that says you’re in survival mode instead of actually feeling good.
❌ Constant frustration with work, life, or just people in general. — A pattern of negativity that can feel normal, but it’s draining.

The Problem: Complaining Keeps You Stuck

At first, it may seem like complaining is just a way to release built-up frustration. But it’s more than that—it holds you in place. Complaining keeps you focused on what’s wrong instead of looking for solutions. Over time, it drains your energy and can make you feel trapped in a negative loop.

And the tricky part? Complaining becomes a habit. You might not even realize you’re doing it. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

The Culture of Complaining

It’s important to recognize that complaining is, to some extent, a byproduct of our culture. We live in a world that often celebrates “the grind”, being “busy”, and constantly feeling overwhelmed. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking this is just how life is. But even though it’s common, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

You can break free from this cycle and create a different experience for yourself.

The Cure: Shift from “Just Getting By” to Feelings of Gratitude

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to stay stuck in this cycle. You have the power to shift your mindset and start experiencing more joy, fulfillment, and energy.

So, how do you do that?

1. Awareness – The first step is catching yourself in the act. Next time someone asks, “How are you?” listen to how you respond. Are you automatically slipping into a default answer like “I’m just getting by”? Pay attention to those little moments where complaining might sneak in.

2. Ownership – Complaining often starts as venting, but venting doesn’t lead to change. Shift your focus from just expressing frustration to taking ownership of your situation. Ask yourself, “What can I do to improve this?” Taking responsibility for your well-being empowers you to make positive changes.

3. Intention – This one can be challenging, but try to focus on gratitude. Even in tough times, find something to appreciate—whether it’s a supportive friend, a moment of quiet, or the ability to take a deep breath. Choosing gratitude helps break the cycle of negativity and re-centers your mindset.

Ready for a Different Experience?

I know how easy it is to fall into the habit of just pushing through the day. But life doesn’t have to feel like something you’re merely managing. Shifting your mindset and habits can help you feel more present, purposeful, and engaged—without adding more to your plate.

If you’re feeling drained or stuck, you don’t have to figure it out alone. I help high achievers regain their energy and create a life that feels sustainable and fulfilling. If this speaks to you, let’s connect—send me an email (s2lifecoaching@gmail.com), and let’s talk about what’s next for you.