Thoughts about overwhelm
I LOVE talking about overwhelm. I love it. The reason is that it is a problem I can help you with immediately. Why? Because feeling overwhelmed is an option. Sounds too good to be true, right? That was my thought the first time I considered this. I can’t pinpoint exactly when I decided that I no longer wanted to feel overwhelmed because it was holding me back, but I know that the discovery made my life much easier to manage.
Let me give you a example of what I am currently experiencing in my day to day life. I work full-time in a relatively high level job, I work part-time in my own business (life coaching), I am working on finishing my real estate coursework so I can sit for the licensure exam, I co-manage a household of 6 people and 2 dogs (schedules, food planning/meal prep/cooking, activities, sleepovers, etc), I am co-managing a complete kitchen remodel (which includes a temporary cooking area), I have a handful of projects around the house I am constantly working on and some I haven’t started, I do my own pool and spa maintenance, and I still have time to travel, exercise, and have what I consider a fun life. Am I superwoman? Absolutely not. How do I “juggle” all of those things? I will tell you.
Do I feel overwhelmed? Sometimes.
When I do feel overwhelmed, why do I feel that way? Because I have the thought, “I have too many things to do and only 24 hours in a day”.
When I feel overwhelmed, what do I do? Nothing. Scroll social media. Read the news. Watch TV. Shop online. Basically everything other than what I want to be doing.
So here is where the magic happens - I have the option to choose a different thought about my life. The thoughts that typically work for me are: There are 24 hours in a day and that is plenty of time to get things done. I can juggle multiple things because I am more than capable of balancing competing priorities. There is nothing on my list that is unmanageable. Boom. Overwhelm is gone. The day feels lighter. I get to work. I check something off my list and get rewarded with a little dopamine boost to provide positive reinforcement for a job well done.
What comes up for you when I share my story? Do I seem “busier” than the average person? I don’t think so. I use thought work and simple organization skills to get me to a place where I don’t need to feel overwhelm to give my brain a break. See what I did there? Let me share this thought again: I don’t need to feel overwhelm to give my brain a break. The feeling of overwhelm is a coping mechanism my brain has reinforced because it knows that when I feel overwhelm, I back off and shut down. My brain then gets to take a break, recoup, and restart at another time (or not at all - let’s be real here).
As I mentioned earlier, I do some basic organization of my day and tasks. This allows me to break my day down to bite-sized, tangible pieces, so I can effectively manage my time and live the life I want to live. I also schedule in time for things that I enjoy, including downtime.
Let me share how with you.
Make a list: I make a list of all the things I need to get done and the timeframe I have to do it in. If something is indefinite or for the immediate future (example: work 8 hours 5 days a week), then call that out. If something has a specific due date, write that down (example: car registration due Aug 1, need smog). Include every single thing you do. Nothing is off the table. Feed and water dogs, take a shower, check mail, drop kids off at school, drive to work, sleep 8 hours, etc.
Take your list and break it down further. Separate daily vs weekly vs monthly vs yearly tasks: For the daily items, how much time do you need to dedicate each day? Example - exercise 30 mins. Make it simple and do not spend too much time on this step.
Organize your list. Mandatory tasks vs optional tasks. Take time to really separate what HAS to be done vs what would be nice to do. Tip - downtime and doing things you enjoy is mandatory.
Prioritize your list. High, medium, and low priority. This is helpful because once you identify your priorities, you are able to tackle those high priority items first so you have the time to tackle the rest.
Put your tasks on a calendar for visualization. This will provide a guide and help redirect you if you aren’t sure what to do next. One of the most common things I coach people on is the thought “I have so many things to do, I don’t know where to start”. You can ask yourself - what is on the calendar for today? I use this step to overlap tasks if possible, but not to the point where I’m truly multi-tasking and not getting anything done (this is my efficiency secret). For example - drive to work and call DMV can be at the same time. Schedule your walk at the same time you have a virtual meeting. Listen to an audiobook while making dinner.
Review your calendar and list weekly. At the end of each week, review the prior week to evaluate if everything was completed. Make adjustments as necessary.
What happens when you calendar your tasks and you find that the day is over but you were not able to complete everything? Here is the most important step: Don’t punish yourself or beat yourself up for not following your schedule. Beating yourself up reinforces negative feelings and tells your brain to go back to your original thought, which is the most comfortable thought to have because it protects us. In my case, the thought is “I have too many things to do and only 24 hours in a day”. Overwhelm quickly follows and shut down occurs. What I do instead when this happens is reinforce my intentional thought of “There are 24 hours in a day and that is plenty of time to get things done”. This thought makes me feel confident and I move my incomplete task to the next day. It’s not a problem and totally neutral to make adjustments.
Do you experience the feeling of overwhelm? Let’s explore your why. I can provide you with a safe, neutral space to explore your thoughts and feelings and help you identify tangible solutions that work for you.
